"I'm so smart, I pay people to put holes in my head" ~Taylor

"I KIll YOU" ~Taylor

"Hey buddy, I think you just need to calm down there" ~Taylor

"Would you like some fresh vegetables" ~Taylor

"The reign of the new berserkers rises like a lizard crawling up your pants, ripping at your testicles like a paper bag. Like the kind you used to bring your lunch to school in." ~Taylor

"Don't cry, just know that I'm right." ~Taylor

"I want to hug you....with my cock" ~Taylor

"Everyone needs to get laid" ~Harry

"Give me some CANDY!" ~Harry

"Why don't I smoke? I could give you some reasons, but there's just one, cause my mom said she'd buy me a computer if I quit, oh yeah and my lungs would heal, oh, oh yeah, and cause Zach smells bad when he smokes." ~Harry

"I'll castrate you with my cigarette" ~Zach

"The Garbadubians told me to" ~Zach

"I am the animal" ~Zach

Zachs Mom: Zach why dont you be more like the hippies, get out of this whole violence thing
Zach: Mom I tried that but then you got mad at me for the drugs

Do you think my parents cry at night when they've realized they had done everything the comercials told them to do and yet I still do drugs, drink, and smoke cigs" ~Zach

Sara: Zach I want a back massage
Zach: Yeah well i want my dick sucked, but i dont think that is going to happen

"Two roads diverged before me,
But I,
I slammed into the median." ~Zach

"There's a fine line between clever and stupid, innit" ~David St. Hubbins

"Christ kid smoke more." ~Zach

"We are gods in our own minds,
and legends in our own time." ~Zach

"Do you have any idea how high I am?" ~Zach

"No no no no no, Joe, I know what a fucking Mexican is!" ~Zach

Jason: I think i have dwarven blood in me; I have really good endurance.
Zach: I think I have some dwarven blood in my cock.

DEA thto GUB Bes (zach): >:o METAL!
PxPxSyndro (me): yeah its alot like that

DEA thto GUB Bes: and by the way, "beet" is a vegatable
DEA thto GUB Bes: i believe you mean "beat"
DEA thto GUB Bes: like meat
DEA thto GUB Bes: like you beat your meat
DEA thto GUB Bes: all the time
DEA thto GUB Bes: and then rob joins in
DEA thto GUB Bes: and then it gets real interesting
DEA thto GUB Bes: and messy
DEA thto GUB Bes: ooh yuck! yet strangely erotic.
DEA thto GUB Bes: so, now that ive left you utterly horrified, how do you feel about socialism?
DEA thto GUB Bes: im more of a marxist, myself
DreamsL0ST: wow
DreamsL0ST: that is the coolest scariest thing youve ever said
DEA thto GUB Bes: but then communism has it's wily charms, too
DreamsL0ST: im gonna save that
DEA thto GUB Bes: yes. yes you will

DEA thto GUB Bes: so i told you my idea, right?
DEA thto GUB Bes: about how to shove it in all the fashion fucks faces? After i get a band and get a gig, right, i come out on the stage with my pants cuffed up past my knees, and say " hi, im kinda new to the scene, and i wasnt sure what the acceptable number of times to roll my pants was so i figured 3 five inch cuffs should do it. ya know i'd rather do it a little too much than not enough"

DEA thto GUB Bes: so i think i want to take up ballet
DEA thto GUB Bes: but the leotards make my ass twitch

"ANAKIN SKYWALKER... hi mom." ~Joe Oyler

"The crotch, a perfect storage area for everything" ~Joe Oyler

"The last three people who saw my cock went insane, including me" ~Joe Oyler

"If we don't have a great time, we'll choke people" ~Joe Oyler

"Maybe I'm just a genius with down syndrome" ~-Joe Oyler

"Quotes that we think up of for ourselves usually end up being stupid" ~Joe Oyler

Matt: Can I get a ride home with you tommorow?
Carter: Sure you fuckin nigger. anything else - my soul maybe - oh wait - you already have it - mwuahahahahahaha

Shutup Zach"~Everyone

Will (about Jesse Helms): "You know I don't wish the guy harm or anything but if he were to get hit by a truck or something I wouldn't cry."

"Zach, go to bed before I KILL YOU!" ~Nate

"Zach, I think someone wants you in the other room, infact I think all of us want you in the other room" ~Jeff

"Did you know your naked beneath your clothes" ~Amy Stapleton

"You know, if there was a god, there'd probably be a devil, and if there was, i'd sell my soul to him" ~Frank

"Life is like sex, when it gets tight just push a little harder" -Jesse Mead

"Jesse Mead is a Math Metal Monkey." ~Jason

Jason: Im gonna take you outside and beat you
Zach: You couldnt take your cock out and beat it

i dont want anything naked at this point in my life ~rockie

Matt: Zach if I were a chick would you fuck me?
Zach: Yeah. Matt it would be really special if we lost our virginity to each other. But we both know we just want to fuck."

matt: ill throw robs rock collection at you
sara: ok, i need to be stoned

"When I was younger I would have gotten alot of hot bitches, well I mean I did, but I would have gotten more" ~Me

"I'm hearing signals I'm not supposed to hear! I THINK WE'RE CRAZY! HELP ME! .....Can you eat cigarettes?" ~Me

"I hate my life, I'm such a fucking teenager." ~Me

"Memory is the worst pain you can feel." ~Me

"Some people can do that, but I can't. I'm in love with you." ~Me

"Very good. Not hungover. Listened to Mutations.... ~Me

"You don't need to make fun of Matt because he's fat" ~Me

"I found a Vadim and I loved it!" ~Me

"Damn Brain" ~Me

DreamsL0ST (me): i guess im a drug addict to an extent. im not actually addicted to anything. there are certain things id rather be on than be sober though. but more than that id rather think of myself as an explorer in the field of drugs.

My Dad: Its about done buddy, just gotta finish cooking this nasty chicken."
Me: Nasty Chicken?
My Dad: Yeah the Salmonela. I don't want to kill you all.......at least not all at the same time

Jason: Its 33 fucking degrees outside.
Me: Lets pour some water on the ground.
Jason: Thats the low.
Me: You're the low.
Jason: No, Zach's the Lowe.

vadim: your getting a lump of coal for christmas
matt: i want a lump of cock (as i pull vadim close to me)

"I give you my anus and my undying gratitude" ~Vadim

Matt: And the crowd goes wild
Zach: My cock went wild once

Zach: I want to smoke but its cold outside
Matt: I want to smoke but Im naked and I dont have any cigarettes

Zach: There should be a killer who kills only cops
Matt: There are, they're called black people

Bridget: Im sorry I grabbed your boyfriend's crotch
Ashley: It's ok, I do it all the time

"Oh my god, my life is Star Wars!" ~Bridget Cady

"THAT WAS AWESOME!! Oh, no, wait it sucked." -JASON

"Is there a proper way to wipe?" ~Jason

"I didn't make a stupid!" ~

"Do you feel any stupid?" ~Jason, three months later

"Zach and I are total losers now" ~Jason

"WO! Vadim didn't do it?" ~Jason

"I think tomorrow I'm going to go to Wal-Mart to buy two Siamese fighting fish. I'm going to put them in a bowl and watch them fight!" ~Jason

eMPeRoRCHaoS (jason): well, there's only one cure for that... it starts with a, ends with l and has dderal in the middle of it.

Jennie Riezl: Is your name Jason?
Jason: Probably?

Jason: I would have the conviction to shoot someone, I just dont want to go to jail.
Rob: Thats why you shoot everyone

Jason: (waiting for the Return of the King to start) Dude, is the Appleseed Cast Here? Yes, it's finally the End of the Ring Wars.

We found a Vadim that said "NO!" and we loves it. We found a Zach that said "no-no-no-no-no" and we said "shut the fuck up zach" ~Jason

"Dangerous Dan Flemming, The Jew With The 'Do" ~Jason

Dude that [another computer sitting next to him] has an internet too? ~Jason

I got my wisdom taken out ~Jason

i never thought about time - jason

our last messages are plagued with alliteration, unintentional at first, then with a key stroke of genius, we uplift ourselves to behold our true beings. we elevate ourselves above the masses of the world, perplexed though we may be as to how we got there, we know but one thing: don't eat fecal matter ~Jason

Can we rob Fort Knox?...I have a plan...dont listen to me. ~Jason

Jason: When is Amy leaving (point to Jodie)?
Amy: Whenever Matt wants to, and by the way I'm Amy

Jason: Uh, my name is Zach Lowe, I like to play snake alot. I like to pick my nose....
Zach: ...What the!? Jason, give me that shit!

To The Great Sir Azazel(Jason)
Why r u attacking me i did nothing to u. So please stop
Signed, The Great Sir Cloud of Pits Of Heck
To The Great Sir Sir Cloud of Pits Of Heck
Your mom told me to attack you until you've cleaned up your room. She said that you also need to check your underpants every time after you have a bowel movement to ensure that you're not leaving any skid marks in the seat. She's getting upset with having to bleach them every time. She says it loosens the cotton grains and will lead to an unpleasant stretching that girls won't find attractive. You do want a girlfriend right? Oh oh and she said that you need to be sure to drink your V8 juice and take your vitamin supplements. All right... later.
Signed, The The Great Sir Azazel (Jason)

"Zach, this is sober Jason, I just want you to know, seriously, I would kick your ass in a fight" ~Jason (Really drunk)

Zach: What's so fucking funny that's funny to you and not to her?
Jason: Oh I was thinking about something else. It was this joke... about this kid... who had a guitar... You wanna know what the punchline was?
Zach: *shrugs*
Jason: Your eye!

jason: kayla you really hurt my feelings, you know?
kayla: that sucks

your a made for tv movie ~jason

i want to stop talking, but i cant. ~jason

"The only time i ever had cyber sex, the power went out." ~jason

Jason: (after looking at Zach's poetry written in cursive) "I'm going to pretend that I can read cursive and say thats beautiful!!"

Jason: I'm the erotica novel (what book type test results on ok cupid)
Zach: You're the erotic anomoly?

becca: my dad wants me to be a pool shark
jason: you dont need to be a pool shark, you can just be a prostitute

"Look, I have reflexes (as she slams her phone down onto her knee)" ~Sarah Birch

well see, i want to be mean to him all the time, but i dont want him to think i hate him. ~Sarah

its like that bluish green color that doesnt have a name, but should be called ugly. ~Sarah

i froze like a raisin ~Sarah

Jason: I have to act drunk
Sarah: Yeah, I have a contact drunk

Sarah: This stack of pictures is fucking heavy
Jason: Yeah, thats because I'm in some of them

Becca and Rachel: Sarah did you trip?
Sarah: I didn't trip I fail

"I sell cell phones. i am suncom, BITCH!" ~Sarah

Sarah: I want to adopt a kid with a mental or physichal illness.
Zach: You can adopt me, I'm kinda retarded

"That's not ghetto, that's cost efficient" ~Dan Fleming

when we praise him we become greater ourselves
let us build him a shrine _whodi-do_whodi-do_ let us build him a shrine
let us wear spandex _whodi-do_whodi-do_ let us wear silver spandex _whodi-do-do
we are the Young Ones for matt is the one true god
_whodididowho-gregorie-alma-mato_ ~Dan's song to me

joeZ22: Its a law.....like newtons law of gravity........this is Joe's law of sex: every living creature loves fresh warm sex

i cant remember what i was doing...oh yeah, i have to fight the sorceress. ~kayla

"Dude, yeah, you guys are going to be up until yesterday." ~Lee (maybe?)

"I cant find my camera. I'm too many drugs right now." ~Amy

"I'll bitchslap her and then kick her in the face...until she bleeds" ~Amy

"I dont need to wash away my sins, Im happy with my sins" ~Valerie

"I can hear Jodie talking to the mirror. It's screaming so viciously at her to make her understand. But understanding takes too much complaining" ~Jennie

"the amy reiszl memorial joint
it was beautiful
just like her
it was dutiful, just like her
it was faithful and fun
a true friend
a good lay
the best girl i know, and the best joint i ever smoked" ~Will Camp

"shes a slut and i like to talk to her" ~Bobby

If i had a time machine i'd go back and rape mary before she gave birth to jesus. Because then i'd sort of be like god. And i could go up to jesus and be like, "who's yo daddy?!" ~Justin

"Remember, it's not GAY, It's EROTIC!" ~Theresa

"Have you ever met JC? Who Jesus Christ? No, but i've been searching for him for a while. I think the pope has him tied up in the basement of the vatican. Thats an elusive motherfucker." ~Tony

"That sucks man, first mexicans, then robots." ~Kayla

"Dude, i think i just puked up my soul." ~kayla

matt: why cant we go to subway? kayla: because quiznos is better and more expensive.

California has hollywood, it has malibu, it has beautiful beaches; but their's one thing you guys have that California doesn't....and thats a piggly wiggly. Piggly Wiggly...its just been rolling off of my tongue all day. I think if I ever have another kid I'll name it Piggly Wiggly. So South Carolina, for one day can I be the king of Piggly Wiggly? Alright then, I'm the king and I'm putting the generic beer on sale... ~Mike Ness

Blake Schwarzenbach: (drinking beer)
random stupid guy: kiss the bottle!
Blake Schwarzenbach: ok mr. 94, its 2003 and we have the internet now. You can gamble and fuck over your friends without ever having to see their face.
Random stupid guy: I didnt mean anything by it
Blake Schwarzenbach: Either did I. Bitter enough for you?